Na Baru se rozvinula velmi vtipná diskuze o tom, jak asi budou reagovat solariánská média na události u New Tuscanu:
Subject: Correct Interpretation fo teh New Tuscany Combat Event
Group: Snerkers Only
Author: lesnerize
Date: Sun, 18 Jan 2009 18:19:35 GMT
Local: Sun, 18 Jan 2009 13:19:35 -0500
Recently, concern has been expressed that the Combat Event at New Tuscany might suggest weaknesses of the Invincible Solarian League Navy. These concerns will, of course, not arisen with the politically sophisticated audience that forms the readership here. However, in less enlightened political circles such concerns have unfortunately been voiced. The purpose of these remarks is to provide a correct response that may be uniformly expressed so as to quash undeserved and dishonest criticism of our Invincible Solarian League Navy.
What are the indisputable facts about the New Tuscany combat event? Above all, the Solarian League Navy Is Invincible.
First, why did Admiral Byng seek to withdraw? The simplest answer, which doubtless did influence his thinking, is that our purpose in life is gradually to incorporate the Verge into civilization, a mission undertaken as a willing sacrifice with the highest of humanitarian intents. It is of course so totally obvious that it need not be said that provoking a war with a Verge power, using the word 'power' very broadly, which would result in the pointless slaughter of thousands of Neobarbarians not sophisticated enough to understand the concept of surrender, would retard our progress toward the day when the eight corners of the universe are brought under the one Solarian roof through the magnanimity of the Office of Frontier Security, soon to be renamed the Office of Frontier Benevolence. Therefore, in the absence of a rational cause for a just war, a cause now supplied by the Pirates of Manticore, Byng preferred to withdraw.
Second, mindful that Byng understood the honor of the fleet, Byng would undoubtedly have chosen to stand and fight if he were not outnumbered. If one believes certain press reports, one would think that Byng was confronted with a smaller number of ships, many of which were allegedly Manticorean Destroyers. Clearly, such a fleet could have posed no danger to Byng's forces. As has previously been established, the military power of a Solarian ship is at least 20 times that of a Manticorean ship on a tonnage basis. It follows that in addition to the rumored RMN forces, there must have been additional RMN forces present as a stiffener. A plausible estimate is another three dozen ships of the wall, SDs or the like. Some readers will be surprised to learn that it is credible that Manticoreans can build SDs, but these are probably should-have-been-scrapped wallers four or five centuries old, sold as antipiracy vessels.
Third, rumors that RMN ships can accelerate at 620 gravities are obviously false. That rational interpretation is that an alarmist typo has occurred. The RMN ships by overloading their compensators were actually accelerating at 260 gravities.
Fourth, questions have been asked about the relative dimensions of torpedo tubes on RMN destroyers and battlecruisers. They appear to be the same. The simplest and most likely answer is that it is very difficult to produce missiles. Making them smaller is even more difficult. The torpedo tubes seen on an RMN destroyer represent the smallest missiles that Manticore can build. They are seen on battlecruisers because they are also the largest missiles that Manticore can build, and therefore RMN battlecruisers carry destroyer-size missiles. In addition, observers have noted that it is unreasonable to suppose a primitive neobarb kingdom can actually build battlecruisers. The reasonable interpretation of the RMN "battlecruiser" fleet is that the individual ships are actually freighters, armored by filling substantial parts of the internal spaces with reinforced concrete, and armed by taking a destroyer, cutting it open, and wrapping it around the freighter.
Fifth, questions exist about the combat events leading to Admiral Byng's tragic death. The Admiral represented the highest and most effective leadership in our Solarian League Navy. His willingness to make the personal sacrifice of travelling to the Verge shows his nobility of soul. His conduct, until his death, of the New Tuscany combat event shows his military brilliance, and represents a sterling model for future admirals.
It is unmistakably the case that the RMN did open fire on our ships, and did so at physically impossible ranges. Why, then, did Admiral Byng's flagship explode? The answer is utterly obvious. The Wily Outremer Gentlemen of the Manticoran spy service had smuggled a high-yield nuclear device on board Byng's flagship, and detonated it at a well-timed moment.
Sixth, questions are asked as the why Admiral Byng's fleet, which certainly outnumbered its opponents, then chose to surrender. One cannot rule out the possibility that the Manticorean hoax of ultra-long-range missiles, carried out as described above, was momentarily convincing to Admiral Byng's second in command. A far more credible answer, however, though one that cannot be stated to the public, is that the Wily Outremer Gentlemen of the Manticoran spy service had previously bribed her to ensure her compliance with their absurd demands for surrender. After she disappears to collect her donative, she will need to be caused to disappear against and return 'voluntarily' to Terra for her execution and trial.
Finally, it appears desirable to begin cultivating the public mind to understand that it will be necessary to undertake a peace enforcement mission in the vicinity of Manticore. The new planned trivideo shows, in family and adult formats, 'Space Pirate Honor' should do much to assist in this direction. Only a few purists will object that the RMN "Navy" (if we may dignify it with this name, almost like a real navy) uniform shows very considerably less decolletage on the female officers. Nor does the actual uniform bare an appropriate amount of midriff. Nor are the uniform trousers so contour enhancing. The sword, however, is entirely authentic. We have taken the liberty of equipping RMN pirate vessels with boarding torpedoes, so that there is some way for the RMN pirates to come to grips with the enemy. Having a torpedo which pursues the enemy ship, pursues, rams, and penetrates the hull, and then opens, allowing Space Pirate Honor and her merry men and women -- more merry in the adult format show -- to leap out and engage in sword to sword combat with their opponents, is certainly credible as a Verge pirate weapon. A few people will complain that the uniform is improbable in battle, because it is not vacuum tight, but most viewers will undoubtedly know that Verge pirates are not really aware that outer space has been filled with vacuum. On the other hand, the method the Verge Supreme Warlord uses to select his highly attractive all-female crew will be entirely familiar to most viewers.
There has been some difficulty displaying the "treecat", samples of which are on view in Terran zoos. For starters, it is inobvious how a 450 kilogram animal can perch on the actress's shoulder. Furthermore, the cat in question, which is actually on exhibit under 'hexapuma', is somewhat mean tempered and fond of meat...including in one trial filming several actors and film crew. We may need to resort to CGI images.
Subject: Re: Correct Interpretation fo teh New Tuscany Combat Event
Group: Snerkers Only
Author: MattAndy
Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 14:02:05 GMT
Local: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 09:02:05 -0500
Do not be taken in by Maticorean disinformation. It is absolutely impossible for events to have occurred the way neobarbs are shouting to the universe. Their third rate Navy could not have defeated a Task Force from the invincible Solorian League Navy, especially with the forces they are claiming to have used.
Furthermore, no SL officer of our unmatched Navy would have opened fire on three Neobarb light cruisers without cause, let alone then be defeated in a fight by a Manty task force that "just happens" to turn up within days of that supposed event. It would have taken weeks, if not months, for the Manties to put together a force powerful enough to defeat Adm. Byng's task force. The Manties could not have put this operation together on the fly. Months of planning and preparation was required.
The situation is clearcut. No Manty light cruisers were destroyed, that is a complete invention. Clearly the lunatics that govern Manticore sent a very powerful force to New Tuscany with the intention of humiliating the SL. Clearly they came into the system without declaring their intent, waited until they were in orbit close to Adm. Byng's ships and opened fire without warning, destroying his flagship and forcing his other ships to surrender as their sidewalls were down and their weapons offline. How else could they have identified his ship out of the Task Force unless they were within close range and in communication with him.
While we may deplore Byng's trusting nature in not expecting to be attacked, we must agree that he had no reason to suspect that the Manties were going to start hostilities before they fired. Moreover, I find it nonsensical that their intelligence service, however wily and evil, could have smuggled an explosive device aboard one of our ships past our peerless security personnel. And it is insulting to the honor of the Fleet to even suggest that an SL officer could be bribed to surrender her command to a foreign power. Caught with wedges, sidewalls and weapons down in a sneak attack by a force at full readiness, probably in energy range, the tactical situation was hopeless. She chose to save the personnel under her command even though that allowed the Manties to loot her surrendered ships and steal out advanced technology, which I sure was their intent all along. Not that it will do them any good, since our tech is far too advanced from them to copy or use. They were only able to steal two of the ships they captured. The others were rendered inoperable by their clumsy and ham-handed attempts to examine and steal them.
Fortunately, rumor has it that a powerful Task Force of Superdreadnoughts of our supreme navy is close by and can be expected to set the situation to rights. We need only to relax, lean back and let events unfold. Our incredible Navy is on the job and situation will soon be on hand as Manticore is brought to book for this crime.
Subject: Re: Correct Interpretation fo teh New Tuscany Combat Event
Group: Snerkers Only
Author: MattAndy
Date: Tue, 20 Jan 2009 03:21:25 GMT
Local: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 22:21:25 -0500
THE CENTER FOR OUTER SYSTEMS STUDIES
A Think Tank providing Social, Economic, and Military Information and Analysis for the Solarian League Navy (Frontier Fleet), Government Agencies (The Office of Frontier Security), and Select Private Organizations and Businesses for nearly a Century.
PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
We have uncovered shocking information concerning the New Tuscany incident involving the Battle Fleet Adm. Byng and units of the "Royal" Manticorean Navy. Documents uncovered by this organization admit that Adm. Josof Byng, a Battle Fleet Officer, was a heavy drinker suggesting that at the time of the battle he was intoxicated and unable to command effectively. The memo written by individuals within Battle Fleet and discovered by this organization admits that Adm Byng bought aboard his Flagship several cases of Walker-Beam Grand Reserve whiskey. What other drugs he indulged in is unknown at this time, but the memo clearly states that his personal stash of intoxicates bypassed normal Frontier Fleet inspection procedures, which could only have occurred by direct orders from Adm. Byng himself or his staff.
Under normal circumstances, even a reprehensible sneak attack by a treacherous mob of half trained neobarbarians that still bang rocks together to make fire could not have defeated our matchless Frontier Fleet, no matter how temporary that victory would be. However, the situation becomes far less clear if the Battle Fleet Commanding Officer was a drunken sot too chemically impaired to fight his fleet. While we can not at this time definitely state that Adm. Byng had been drinking at the time of the incident, the possiblity must be considered. Certainly, we must consider that option more seriously that the insane notion that someone from Frontier Fleet slipped a thermonuclear device into Adm Byng's drink to blow up one of its own ships for reasons unknown, and that said device just happen to go off at the exact moment that his flagship was under attack from a third rate navy.
The damning memo is quoted below:
Subject: Re: Correct Interpretation fo teh New Tuscany Combat Event
Group: Snerkers Only
Author: Peter Zina
Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 15:32:54 GMT
Local: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 10:32:54 -0500
ONI Memo to SLN Media Liason Personell:
Please refrain from denouncing the smuggled bomb theory in Admiral Byng's demise. Certain...internal...considerations have led ONI analysts to believe that a bomb was indeed smuggled onto Admiral Byng's flagship. It seems that certain unreliable elements of the SLN (Frontier Fleet) sent the good admiral several cases of Walker-Daniels grand reserve. The received items appeared to have been accepted without thorough inspection by proper Navy personell...that is by Battle Fleet sailors. One of these cases is suspected to carrying the suspected thermonuclear device.
ONI has not concluded who ordered the device sent to Admiral Byng. Until ONI analysts have made such a determination, interdepartmental communication between Fleet branches is contra-indicated.
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